Dating and the competitve eater...

Now that I'm single again, it's time to start dating.

I posted this on a dating website I'm a member of and thought I'd share...

I've met some women that found what I do interesting. Some are a little grossed out, and I can understand that.

My journey in competitive eating started back in 2005 when I won a local contest and then another. 2 years in row. In 2007, I did a weight-loss reality show and between that and continuing at home, I lost about 120 lbs. (I've since put back a few, but nowhere near the whole thing). The next year I briefly went pro and now, I do my own thing. I found that the weight loss actually helped me get better. (Skinner people typically are better competitive eaters, not the other way around as the stereotype of the fat guy might make you think)

Competitive eating is comprised of two types of events. The contest, which you might know from watching the Nathan's Hot Dog contest on ESPN. (Before you ask, no, I've never done it and "that little Japanese guy" hasn't won it in a few years, lol) And the challenge. Which you would commonly know from watching the show "Man Vs. Food". If you go to X restaurant and eat Y food in Z amount of minutes, it's free and your picture goes on the wall. Sometimes there's a prize for that as well.

If we date, what would you have to deal with?
Well, I travel sometimes, but it's not that bad. I've been to San Diego, North Carolina, Detroit and local. So you'd have to deal with the odd weekend I wouldn't be around. I'm also filming something for TV at least once a year. So you have to deal with my mediocre quest for fame.


It's called Competitive eating for a reason, so you will have to deal with my competitive nature. I bang the trivia machine when I get a question wrong. I yell at the screen when I'm playing Madden. Even though I'm a realist, I often day dream that I'll be better at a particular thing or activity than I really will be.

Spontaneous contests. Sometimes you don't know about one until the day before. If I'm committed to something, then I'm committed, but I will try to work around it if possible. Ideally, you'd be my biggest fan and want to come, but I would be understanding if you're not into it, as long as you're also not trying convince me out of it. I understand the risks.

You also have to know the difference in how the mind works. If you get to know me, you will find out that I'm at the end of a binge eating disorder. I've just about conquered it. But what needs to be understood about competitive eating is that it's a totally separate activity. Binge eating is about emotions. It's about turning to food for comfort. For the most part, I'm no longer doing this and am back to losing weight. But competitive eating is somewhat "sport". I'm not saying that we do the same thing that Kobe or Lebron or Favre is doing but it something that is conditioned by the mind and the body. It's completely about competition and for the community of people that comes with it (although there are a few lunatics :)

So ladies. If we go out on a date. I'm not going to try and eat my dinner as fast as I can to impress you. I'm not a slob that's going to drop food all over myself. I'm not unconcerned with my health and go to the gym several times a week. What I am, is a guy that's just trying to live my life. Are you in for the ride?

I need help with some creative stunts.

So recently I responded to a casting call, not knowing what it was, that asked what you could do in 90 seconds. I sent the a video of me doing the Ottomanelli's burger challenge, which was a 2 pound burger. I timed it out for how long it took me to do the burger by itself and it came out to about 90 seconds. Turns out they were interested. I wasn't sure of anything related to the filming or the schedule, so I was unsure on how to answer, the only thing I knew was that this was a big show with a lot of potential. They told me that auditions had been completed but that they wanted to use my tape as an audition because they liked it so much. The tape was passed on and the executives liked it enough to use it as the official audition.

So my problem. If I wind up being selected, this is a show that will involve being in different stages. The first stage, will involve me replicating my initial stunt in the video, devouring the burger in under 90 seconds. That will be the easy part. If I'm selected, I would have to come up with something else. Watching a guy eating things really fast is just going to get boring.

My first idea involves pizza. I know from the Rocco's challenge, I can do a 16 inch pie in about 2 mins or so. I was thinking that I could do a challenge where I would eat a pie quicker than one can be made. So I asked Joe, the head honcho at Rocco's how long it takes to spin a pizza and to sauce and cheese it, ready for the oven. He says he can do it in under a minute. So that means I would have to attempt to eat 1 pie quicker than he can make 2. I don't know if that's as impressive looking.

So now I search for ideas. What competitive eating type stunt could I do, that isn't the same old boring thing? Something that would get a crowd interested and rooting for me to beat the clock?