And with this, I let her go...

I wrote this while dealing with the loss of a relationship. I'm posting this to release it and let her go and gain closure. I've removed a few details to protect her identity.
I'm just about there.

The story of us...

Mar. 26

I met her while I was living with my ex....

We started chatting online and the first posting I saw of hers, I'm not sure why, but I felt connected, with no credible reason for it. Her icon didn't show who she was and I had no idea what she looked like. And yet, there was a pull.

A few weeks later we exchanged facebook profiles. She was beautiful. Her face could light up a room. Her smile was the first thing I saw and the first thing I think of. Not knowing how she would take it, I admitted that I had a crush. The problem was, we were BOTH in relationships (she had a kid, complicating the situation). She admitted that she had a crush on me too and we became friends.

We were friends that admitted to how much we wanted to fuck each other. It was only supposed to be an affair. She couldn't leave her boyfriend for logistical and comfortablility reasons and I wasn't quite ready to leave my girlfriend because I was struggling with how I felt about her.

We bonded over our relationship issues. She told me the things that upset her about her bf. I assured her that that wasn't me and vice versa. We seemed to be everything that we thought we were missing in our current relationship.

And then she said it... "I'm just scared of the thought of falling in love with you".
And then I thought it... "Ya know what, I am too"....

When I started feeling things for her. More than just about being a friend that wanted to fuck her, I knew it was time to end my relationship. It wasn't fair. I found the courage that I don't usually find, and I broke it off. And yet, I was excited at the prospect of her.

Finally, we met. She only had time for a quick meeting. Literally 5 minutes of hanging out. I looked into her eyes once, and I knew. This was the girl for me. I didn't want or care about anything else in that moment. The word "hi" was all I could muster and I kissed her. My hand caressed the back of her neck and our noses rubbed together and we looked into each others eyes and smiled. And she was off. I hadn't felt, or allowed myself to feel like this since I was 17. Just blind, stupid, love. The kind that you know is just going to get your heart broken.

We met again. She wanted to see a particular movie and we were going on opening day. I bought tickets for a late afternoon show. I cooked for her and she was happy. We laid in bed and talked about the possibilities of the future. Our bodies coming together was amazing. We told each other that we couldn't imagine our lives without each other. It was the perfect day. I didn't know that when she left, it would be the last time I'd see her.

The original plan was for me to date and if it was meant to be, it would. Which is my general life philosophy. But with her, I was consumed. Much like that 17 year old me, I could think of nothing else but this girl that I was so in love with. It got to the point that I was annoyed by myself. Things weren't moving along as quickly as I wanted to on her end, and I became depressed. Realistically, I knew they weren't going to, but I was sad because I wanted to be with this girl that I loved so much and couldn't. Anytime some life event happened, I had no idea about it until days later. I knew she was an adult that could take care of herself, but all I wanted to do was be there for her. When she needed someone to be there, it should have been me and not the loser boyfriend who could care less.

I told her I needed to back off a bit. That this was no good for either one of us. That we should remain friends for the moment. She told me she agreed but she was still trying to figure out how to rearrange her life so we could be together, but that it would take time. I told her I wasn't going to wait, I would just hope the timing was right. Really, I was going to wait. Things went back to normal.

Instead of being so intense, I was relaxed and happy again. She felt less intense and less pressured. I didn't mean to pressure her and told her she shouldn't be, but she was concerned about me.

Then she stopped talking to me. When she didn't talk to me for a few days, I was ok with it. Used to it. When it turned into a week, and I saw her pop on msgr at times and not say anything, and post on the message board, I knew something was wrong. She was pulling away.

I sent her a message and told her how I felt and that I was separating myself from the situation. If she was going to start ignoring me, I was going to avoid her from the places I'd see her most. It was torture knowing she was online and not talking to me, for whatever the reason. My sadness was turning to anger, eating at me. Her response only served to infuriate me. She broke up with the boyfriend and claimed to not be able to give me what I wanted.

I could get into her reasons why. I could get into, what I think, are the real reasons. But no matter what the reasons are, either true, or false, or false to just herself, the conclusion is that she's there, and I'm here. That a girl that I felt I was meant to be with, and has claimed the same feeling, felt that I was meant to walk away instead. And I did. And I'm not sure that I can give anyone that again. Love is just too fucking exhausting.

Interviews from Go Go Curry finals...

An article on how NOT to date.

One of the things I love about twitter (see sidebar for my twitter updates) is that you can mention something and a twitter blog relating to the subject of a single word will start "following" you. I put the word "following" in quotations because they're really not following you, they're manipulating the system to advertise themselves to get you to follow them. It's not a bad tactic when you might actually be interested in the subject and the account is not TOTAL spam.

So anyway, I was up late last night trolling the dating websites I used and made mention of it. Sure enough, two twitter accounts "followed" me. The first one was this guy...



I mean really? This is the guy that's going to get you a date? He might want to try clipping off the ends of that ten year old haircut first.

Anyway, I contradict myself because I'm no gorgeous god, by any stretch of the imagination and I do alright for myself. And I'm going to tell you how, because the next twitter that added me actually had some "helpful" tips on how to successfully date. There go those quotations again.

To begin with, the second account that added me, offering those "helpful" tips had this picture....

And the title of this particular twitter is called "How to flirt well". So I clicked a link and learned. Or, actually, I laughed a bit...

Let me preface this by saying, I hate that dating is a game. If you've met someone that you don't have to play games with (which I think I finally met, thankfully) then by all means, completely ignore this. That being said, I've learned a lot in my 15 years of dating but I didn't start playing until about 9 years into it and the year I finally made the change was better for me than all 9 of the other years combined. Now, I will agree with one thing women say about being the nice guy. The guys's that claim they are the nice guy and never win, are usually douchebags. The way I was when I was younger. We're nice, sure, but we're overwhelming. We don't give the girl a chance to breathe (I had a brush with this recently, quite by accident and it was a scary moment to see my old self creep back in). As the nice guy, yeah, you're nice, but that's all you are. There's usually nothing interesting about you and if there is, you're killing it by either not being aggressive enough or being way too aggressive in the wrong way.

But dating is truly a tango. Let's learn what the How To Flirt Well tiwtter has to teach us.

The article is posted here... It's called "5 Seduction Tips For Men"

If you have problems with the ladies, you're not alone. Most guys don't want to admit it, but they don't always get the girl. Communication is the key to getting and keeping a woman's interest.

Ok, we're starting off well. Kinda... Communication definitely is key, but depending on the situation, you might have to limit it.

A lot of men lack confidence and think they are missing out because they don't look like a celebrity. It's a lot more important to be the best you and not the best somebody else you can be.

We're on a roll. Starting out good, BUT I disagree with the last line. If you're the above mentioned nice guy, it's time to change and be "the best somebody else you can be", the key is to make it your own.

The advice offered here is a way to get you started on the best dating experiences of your life. Any man can get the girl if he has the right approach. These tips will help make you simply irresistible.

Now we're taking a turn. Simply because I read the article already, I know this is not true. The following are all the tips you've read on any other site, that should either be common sense, or you've tried already. You will NOT be irresistible if you follow their tips.

Read the tips and put them into practice.

1. Clean up your act. If you look like a slob, no one will find you attractive. Your hair should be neat, fingernails cleaned and face either clean shaven or with neatly trimmed facial hair. Stubble isn't sexy unless it's on Brad Pitt. Don't sag, wear clothes that fit and look neat and attractive. You want your lady to look good for you. Return the favor.

There is a truth and a non-truth to this. If you're like me, and you're just alright looking and/or fat or any other number of features that might work against you, you might want to at least look alright. Looking good and being well groomed are only somewhat important, depending on the person. There are women that will see someone that's not dressed great and will judge off the bat based on what you're wearing. You will not seduce her ever unless you're GQ all the time. Bail. If you don't dress like it's 1985 and your hair isn't all over the place and your mustache/beard is at least manageable, you'll be fine. However, in the other direction, if you're good looking, you might actually want to go COMPLETELY against this tip. If someone is attracted to the basics of you enough, and you're a slob, you're now a project. You will totally seduce them if the personality is somewhat there because they're going to want to change you and clean you up.

2. If you don't know what good manners are, take an etiquette course. Woman appreciate men who are courteous and respectful. Leave the vulgar language in the locker room with the other guys. Vulgarity is disrespectful and rude. Treat your date like a lady.

I don't know anyone who even knows of an etiquette course without googling it. I've always hated the term "treating a woman like a lady". First of all, let's treat all humans equally regardless of gender, that might be a good place to start. A long time ago we fought for the rights to give women equal rights, and still, we have to treat women differently then men. Polite things, like holding a door, should be universal, not reserved for a woman. But that's a whole other post. Another topic for another post, language. If you're the type of person that curses and is vulgar and tells dirty jokes and the girl isn't, bail. If you do "clean up your act" and wind up with the person, your life will be hell. This is one of the leading causes of the high divorce rate. Men and women settle for each other even though they have different values and curb who they are for the sake of the person they're dating. If you curse, find a girl that curses. If you're one of those people that are offended by language and words, kill yourself. But if you can't find the strength, then find a women who is also on the word police squad. If you can't come together on the words you say, you're doomed from the start.

3. Don't be late or you'll miss the boat. Making a date wait for you is disrespectful. If you have a flat tire, or something else comes up that you couldn't foresee, call your date and let her know why you are late. Ask if she wants to wait or would like set another time for your date.

Yes, if you're going to be late due to an unforeseen occurrence, call and let them know. It's only right. That being said, showing up a little late is advisable. It's actually a good way to gauge the persons interest. If you're 15 minutes late and the girl is gone, they're not really all that interested.


4. Keep your attention focused on your date. Listen to what she has to say and don't act bored. Remember what she says, there may be a test later. Be prepared to get the conversation started. Any subject that will get her talking is fine. Find out about her interests.

If a woman tests you on what you've been paying attention to, RUN!, as if your life depended on it. My favorite part is that you, as the guy, have to be prepared with conversation. It's like, you have to be the interesting one and the woman you're on the date with is holding you up to that standard, but you don't have to hold her to the same one, lol. Honestly, there's a fine line here. Yes, showing interest is key, but not too much. One of the things I've learned is to not be too interested. The biggest tip I can give about dating is this.... Show you're interested at first. Flirt on your first conversation, including a subtle flirt at sexual attraction. When you're on the actual date, act as if you're going out with a friend. Granted, depending on the person, you don't want to act as if you're hanging with the guys, but the key to a successful date is actually showing a sort-of lack of interest. The woman you're on the date with will wonder why you're not making a move, because THAT is what they're used to. If you want to stand out from the pack, be the guy that doesn't want anything from her. It will keep her guessing and interested. You can tweak this as you go along and flirt to match the output. But by not expecting sex on the first date, it might actually get you there (if that's what you're looking for).
Additionally, when it comes time to talk about dating and who you're seeing, it's perfectly fine to tell a woman that you're seeing other people and it might actually help your cause. Women want to know you have options and that you're making time for them to be an option. They want to be the option that wins.

5. The best way to make yourself irresistible, is to make her feel irresistible. Let her know how attractive you find her. Compliment her on her good taste, her intelligence, her grace. Avoid any overtly sexual remarks, as they may make her uncomfortable and will certainly sound self serving on your part. If you pressure your date, you won't see her again.

This is sort of a follow-up on what I said in the last tip. But again, NO! don't make her feel irresistible. Do the complete opposite. Guys are ALWAYS making her feel irresistible. The key to any relationship is a little bit of insecurity. Guys are always all over girls. You want to be different.
BUT, there are other situations when the other way works too. If a girl is REALLY attracted to you and she shows it, it's time to go the complete other way and make it totally about sex. That is, if that's all your looking for.

A bit of advice for women too here. Be honest with yourself and your date. If you're looking to get laid, go for it. If a man is going to judge you by a different set of standards than he is for himself, then he's not the guy for you. Women get labeled as sluts in our society and it's a stupid double standard. There are whores on both sides of the gender line. That being said, if you honestly like someone that they are a potential mate, just tell them. Again, a guy that is scared off by this, is NOT worth your time. Guys want relationships just as badly as women, but when we make that clear YOU'RE the ones that get scared away. And seriously, don't sleep with him on the first date unless it really is magic and not just your hormones getting in the way. If you hold off, it will give the guy a chance to get to know you while he's trying to hit it ;)

Best places to get free dating tips for men are:

1. ForeverLaid.com

Classy!

Two new videos for ya....

One of my 2 appearances on MTV's Silent Library...

And a competitive eating rap I posted...

Dating and the competitve eater...

Now that I'm single again, it's time to start dating.

I posted this on a dating website I'm a member of and thought I'd share...

I've met some women that found what I do interesting. Some are a little grossed out, and I can understand that.

My journey in competitive eating started back in 2005 when I won a local contest and then another. 2 years in row. In 2007, I did a weight-loss reality show and between that and continuing at home, I lost about 120 lbs. (I've since put back a few, but nowhere near the whole thing). The next year I briefly went pro and now, I do my own thing. I found that the weight loss actually helped me get better. (Skinner people typically are better competitive eaters, not the other way around as the stereotype of the fat guy might make you think)

Competitive eating is comprised of two types of events. The contest, which you might know from watching the Nathan's Hot Dog contest on ESPN. (Before you ask, no, I've never done it and "that little Japanese guy" hasn't won it in a few years, lol) And the challenge. Which you would commonly know from watching the show "Man Vs. Food". If you go to X restaurant and eat Y food in Z amount of minutes, it's free and your picture goes on the wall. Sometimes there's a prize for that as well.

If we date, what would you have to deal with?
Well, I travel sometimes, but it's not that bad. I've been to San Diego, North Carolina, Detroit and local. So you'd have to deal with the odd weekend I wouldn't be around. I'm also filming something for TV at least once a year. So you have to deal with my mediocre quest for fame.


It's called Competitive eating for a reason, so you will have to deal with my competitive nature. I bang the trivia machine when I get a question wrong. I yell at the screen when I'm playing Madden. Even though I'm a realist, I often day dream that I'll be better at a particular thing or activity than I really will be.

Spontaneous contests. Sometimes you don't know about one until the day before. If I'm committed to something, then I'm committed, but I will try to work around it if possible. Ideally, you'd be my biggest fan and want to come, but I would be understanding if you're not into it, as long as you're also not trying convince me out of it. I understand the risks.

You also have to know the difference in how the mind works. If you get to know me, you will find out that I'm at the end of a binge eating disorder. I've just about conquered it. But what needs to be understood about competitive eating is that it's a totally separate activity. Binge eating is about emotions. It's about turning to food for comfort. For the most part, I'm no longer doing this and am back to losing weight. But competitive eating is somewhat "sport". I'm not saying that we do the same thing that Kobe or Lebron or Favre is doing but it something that is conditioned by the mind and the body. It's completely about competition and for the community of people that comes with it (although there are a few lunatics :)

So ladies. If we go out on a date. I'm not going to try and eat my dinner as fast as I can to impress you. I'm not a slob that's going to drop food all over myself. I'm not unconcerned with my health and go to the gym several times a week. What I am, is a guy that's just trying to live my life. Are you in for the ride?

I need help with some creative stunts.

So recently I responded to a casting call, not knowing what it was, that asked what you could do in 90 seconds. I sent the a video of me doing the Ottomanelli's burger challenge, which was a 2 pound burger. I timed it out for how long it took me to do the burger by itself and it came out to about 90 seconds. Turns out they were interested. I wasn't sure of anything related to the filming or the schedule, so I was unsure on how to answer, the only thing I knew was that this was a big show with a lot of potential. They told me that auditions had been completed but that they wanted to use my tape as an audition because they liked it so much. The tape was passed on and the executives liked it enough to use it as the official audition.

So my problem. If I wind up being selected, this is a show that will involve being in different stages. The first stage, will involve me replicating my initial stunt in the video, devouring the burger in under 90 seconds. That will be the easy part. If I'm selected, I would have to come up with something else. Watching a guy eating things really fast is just going to get boring.

My first idea involves pizza. I know from the Rocco's challenge, I can do a 16 inch pie in about 2 mins or so. I was thinking that I could do a challenge where I would eat a pie quicker than one can be made. So I asked Joe, the head honcho at Rocco's how long it takes to spin a pizza and to sauce and cheese it, ready for the oven. He says he can do it in under a minute. So that means I would have to attempt to eat 1 pie quicker than he can make 2. I don't know if that's as impressive looking.

So now I search for ideas. What competitive eating type stunt could I do, that isn't the same old boring thing? Something that would get a crowd interested and rooting for me to beat the clock?

My top 10 favorite movies of the decade - 2000-2009

The following list is my favorite movies of the last 10 years. They might not be the best movies to you, but they're the films I've enjoyed the most this decade.

1. Love Me If You Dare (Jeux d'enfants)

2. Antwone Fisher

3. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon

4. Kill Bill Vol. 1 & 2

5. Snatch

6. Star Trek

7. 8 Mile

8. Dawn Of The Dead

9. Saw

10. V For Vendetta